Category Archives: words of wisdom

CLAIM YOUR TWENTIES

I have 4 years to go to 30 and last night came across a Ted Talk by Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Meg Jay, which was addressed to us “narcissistic and dying to be famous” twenty-somethings.

I heard the words, “your twenties are not a developmental downtime, but rather a developmental sweet spot”, I instantly sat up and increased the volume. Not because I haven’t heard or read something similar, always with the aim of readying or pushing us for life beyond 30, but because I was curious on what this Clinical Psychologist’s take was on a subject that has been so widely covered, and I guess more so, because I fall within this group.

I was right to pay attention. She had gems that I had to share.

As I was listening, my immediate reaction was to tweet it all away because I felt that the lid had been blown off a very valuable secret that all my peers had to know about at once.

3 things:

ONE: Forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. Do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that’s an investment in who you might want to be next.

TWO: The urban tribe is overrated. This basically means that when it comes to your career development, it’s likely that a stranger will help you more than your best friend would.  She cites a famous social networking study conducted by Stanford professor, Mark Granovetter, who found that “weak-tie acquaintances were often more important than strong-tie friends because weak ties give us access to social networks where we don’t otherwise belong.”

THREE: The time to start picking your family is now. The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one. Be as intentional with love as you are with work. Picking your family is about constantly choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you at the time.

Basically, my fellow twenty-somethings , if you’re living in some paradise with the idea that your 20s are a kind of prolonged adolescence, get rid of that thinking now. Don’t get to 30 and think to yourself, “My twenties are almost over and I have nothing to show for myself.”

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What weight?

I’m on a bit of detox (read: diet) because I’ve been feeling strangely ‘larger’ than my usual self. I was merrily carrying on until I read this:

“why do you live in your body like you will be given another? as if it were temporary. you starve it, you let anyone touch it, you berate it. tell it that should be completely different. you tug at your soft flesh, wish it thinner, wish it gone. you fall in love with those who praise the way it sighs under their hands, but who praises the way it holds up your weight, even when you are falling apart?” – Warsan Shire

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DESIRE | GROWTH

skirtkat

bdaytop

You don’t search for the perfect job; you create it— either within an existing organization or on your own.

Words of wisdom. First came across this line towards the end of last week whilst reading a Forbes article on “How To Plan Your Life, When You Can’t Plan Your Life”. In that moment, I silently acknowledged this statement as the defining phrase for my life this year. One can’t keep jumping from job to job hoping the grass is greener when deep down you know it is really, actually greener where YOU water it. If you can’t have what you want where you are right now, create it yourself because only YOU know what you really want. And this is the reason this is such an exciting time/year/moment. It’s simple, your future depends on you.

Monday | Message

do better

what you seek is seeking you – Rumi

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Spirited

“We are here because of our grandmothers’ prayers, our grandfathers’ dreams; we came on the breath of our ancestors.”

(“Never forget that you did not do this by yourself.”)

Be Nice.

Be nice. The world is a small town.

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RIP: Ray Bradbury (August 22, 1920 – June 5, 2012)

If you stuff yourself full of poems, essays, plays, stories, novels, films, comic strips, magazines, music, you automatically explode every morning like Old Faithful. I have never had a dry spell in my life, mainly because I feed myself well, to the point of bursting. I wake early and hear my morning voices leaping around in my head like jumping beans. I get out of bed to trap them before they escape.

Ray Bradbury

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Build your picture

View from my friend’s apartment

  1. There’s not one thing that I’m unhappy about in my life that cannot be fixed. I’m working on fixing the fixables. The rest I’m OK with for now.

  2. I’ve allowed an awesome person into my life. I’ve been happy since that day. (Heart beats faster. I can no longer think of anything but this person)

  3. Learning a lot in my new job. Taking it a day at a time.

  4. My mom is my best friend. Without her, my life would to a large extent, be in complete shambles. No lies. Grateful.

  5. I thank the universe for having blessed me with the friends I have in my life. My life is really better with these beautiful souls in it.

Basically, my life’s bigger picture is looking great as it comes together.

Cray

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels? We make tools for these kinds of people. While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” — Steve Jobs

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This Is For You

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”

I’ve made some pretty good friends in my life. If we are still friends, I’m glad to still have you in my life, I’m also glad that we’ve grown together. That even with the wrongs of the past, we are still here. You have helped me understand myself better through being able to share my deepest thoughts and most precious emotions with you. If we’ve parted ways, I’m glad you showed me what I didn’t need in my life, you’ve shown me that I can be too trusting. And to those friends where we grew apart naturally, such is life. We can meet up and still have fun; I still wish you all the best things in life.

Pic: Lovely summer’s day with gorgeous friends 😉
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My Kinda Clock

I have come to realize I’ve known for a while now that if there’s one thing that’s dysfunctional and needs serious attention from me, it has got to be my time-keeping skills, or lack thereof. I am late for literally everything (OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a little – not everything!). Late by 2min, 5min, 10min all the way to 20 min and still I feel like it’s not SO bad. But even when I’m at the peak of that shitty, late feeling, making all sorts of grand promises about how this will the last time it happens, I always end up doing myself over. THIS MUST CHANGE. *straight face*

A friend said to me that by showing up late for engagements it sends the message that one doesn’t have much respect the other person’s time. I keep this in mind as I get ready, and try as much as possible not to ‘faff’ before I step out the house. Because the last thing I want is to disrespect anybody’s time.

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